Competition!

I survived my first competition!!! I'm happy with how I did, even though I came last. Skaters who were far better than me were far more disappointed in how they did!

Some things I learned:

• 99% of skaters are very polite. They virtually all said "thank you" when I told them well done and handed them a certificate of participation, even the ones who would probably bin it before they got home
• Nobody ever gets boo-ed. Everyone gets cheered. I like this.
• That it is very difficult to find unique music (*smug* no one else skated to Baker Street)
• Judges are people too. People who give up their time to watch and judge figure skating. Respect to them!
• If your music doesn't work, there's only 3 minutes allowed to fix it or you get disqualified. If you leave the ice, you also get disqualified. God bless my coach for racing around the rink with my spare CD and her iPod when the spare didn't work either!
• Little girls are very competitive about being flower girls. Possibly more so than the competition itself!
• Even the best skaters fall in competitions. This doesn't neccessarily mean they don't win, so keep going and keep smiling!
• There will always be people who don't take tests so they can win competitions. This is just something you have to deal with.
• I think it's fun. I'm not entirely sure, but i think so

Rink of discontent

An ice rink is a predominantly female, competitve, time pressured, expensive environment.  I suppose it's not all that surprising that there's more drama in an ice rink than Albert Square at times! But at the same time, for the coaches it's also a workplace, and there needs to be a professional attitude. I think it's when the professionalism starts to slide that the worst problems occur.

So what do you do when you can cut the tension in the air with a toepick?

Option 1
Find out everything you possibly can from everyone you know (including your hairdressers dogsitter who once went out with a hockey player). Then repeat everything you found out to everyone else, making sure to add in extra juicy bits to keep them coming back for more. Don't worry about whether it's true or not, it's entertaining right?

Option 2
Keep out of it altogether. Refuse to listen to a negative word from anyone about anyone or anything. Stick your fingers in your ears and sing "lalalala" as loudly as possibly whenever anyone speaks to you in case they're going to bitch about someone else.

Option 3
Hear everything. Take it all in. Make your own judgements and act on them without compromising yours or your skaters integrity. Don't repeat anything anyone else tells you.

Option 4
Struggle to balance everything. Is it worth compromising your skater's chance for that solo in the show in the interests of their future in the sport? Can you really believe everything your coach/that SkateMum/your skater/other skaters are telling you? Keep your head down but can't help hearing things you'd rather not know. Defend your friends but find yourself making enemies you never intended to.


I believe that most people will fall into Option 4. Its HARD, especially for parents, to know who to believe when they have conflicting information. It's hard to make a decision you know may have negative consequences. It's hard to speak up. Adult skaters have less to lose. Well, maybe not less, but whatever we lose, it's us that loses it, not our child.

Me? I am loyal to my coach and my friends. I can't say I never gossip, but I don't make up lies, and I don't gossip with anyone and everyone, I share my views with people who have similar views. I never say a bad word about my coach who I adore. I have complained about issues that have affected me and those I love. I have also smiled and been polite to people I would rather punch in the face. I try to balance it. It's a work in progress.

Group hug!

Today I had a lovely conversation with one of the best skaters at the rink (11 years old, landing doubles). She told me she thought it was brilliant that some adults do tests (I'm not in for any yet, but definately will take them when I'm ready, and I pointed out another adult who has a field moves test next week), as a lot don't. When I jokingly asked what she thought of adults who do competitions, she thought it was really amazing, and told me the special rink cheer for our skaters, and promised to cheer for me.

When I told my coach I wanted to compete in the Open against the kids, I think she anticipated opposition. But I've had overwhelming support from the skaters and their parents. Coaches have been slightly mixed (one asked my coach "does Turnip know she's gonna be skating against kids?!" my coach said I did, and a different coach added "good on Turnip!"). The ones who's opinions matter at all to me have all been positive though. The committee organising the competition have been supportive, and apparently the referee was excited that adults had entered.

My rink has it's ups and downs and not always the nicest atmosphere (as I'm sure do most places), but such a positive attitude towards me and my skating really makes me feel good! We'll see how parents and skaters from other rinks who don't know me react, but it's not like I'm a former champion skating down, I'm more of a beginner than a lot of the kids I'm skating against. I hope once they see I'm not a threat to their little darlings, they'll embrace the idea of adults competing. But if not, I don't really care!

It's eleven days til the competition and I realised today I'm probably never gonna feel like I'm ready for it. Me and my coach just want me to skate my program nicely, with two salchows, a toe loop and an upright spin all counted. Some days this is by no means a sure thing! But no matter how bad I skate, I'm sure I'll get cheers during and hugs afterwards. And I'm betting I'll still be proud of myself for going out there and doing it!

Feel the fear and do it anyway

We've all seen them, the barrier huggers who totter stiff kneed and anxious around the rink over and over again. And the next time you see them, they're still as nervous as ever. But you keep seeing them. As they grit their teeth and edge their way round. And one day they're taking tiny baby steps backwards.

Ever wondered what keeps them going?

Why would you keep going when every step is mental torture and your whole body is rigid with fear? What makes someone put themselves through that?

I have no idea. And I should, because I've been there.

A few months after I started skating I had a couple of bad, tailbone breaking falls. It absolutely wrecked my confidence. The next time I got on the ice, the slightest glide made me freeze up in terror. I was in tears with fear and frustration. For months I was terrified, I couldn't skate the width of the rink (when I had been doing quite happily previously). Oddly, backwards was slightly easier as it was less likely that I would catch the dreaded toepicks. And lemons worked too.

Endless patience from an amazing coach in group lessons helped. So did more endless patience from my first private lesson coach, together with a focus on my forward skating technique. Mostly it was sheer, teeth gritting determination. I would NOT let this beat me.

Now I'm doing jumps, spins, field moves and a program. I adore skating, and will try anything when asked. I'm no longer paralysed by fear. I love the feel of gliding around on the ice, of landing a jump, of spinning so fast it leaves me dizzy. My first coach uses me as a shining example for nervous skaters.

Is the fear still there? Well, something stops me throwing myself into my loop, or doing steps fast, or not dragging my toe rake on the entrance to a spin, and I guess it is fear. It's not overpowering and all consuming like it was once upon a time. I'm not entirely sure it'll ever completely go away. But it won't stop me achieving what I want to. Like I wouldn't quit when I was scared to lift my feet up off the ice, I won't quit now.

Imagining a life without skating

I've been skating for two years, and in that time it's become probably the most important thing in my life. What if I'd never taken to the ice..?

Sleep!

• I wouldn't have to get up at 5am several times a week
• But I wouldn't appreciate that 7am is actually a lie in
• I wouldn't have developed a napping habit

Friends

• Most of the people I care most about I know through skating. Without skating, I'd pretty much just have family, work colleagues and my flatmate.
• Outside the rink I mainly talk to people roughly my own age. Inside the rink I talk to people of all ages.

Fitness

• I'm unfit now!
• If I didn't skate I would have zero exercise
• I wouldn't have any incentive to improve my flexibility
• On the plus side, I wouldn't have hurt my hip on a stupid three turn! Or hurt my knee attempting the splits...

Fun

• Glitter!!! Imagine a world without glitter spray... terrible!
• I wouldn't have had the brilliant experience of taking part in an ice show and the chaos, frustration, achievement, fun, and more chaos that this involves.
• The best times I've had in the last year and a half have been with people I met through skating.

Money

• I would actually have some!
• Although I never seemed to have that much before skating anyway, I guess I just found crap to spend it on that now I realise I don't reeeeeally need (or else I need but skating is more important!)
• My annual bonus would be to buy myself something pretty, not already earmarked for new skates and blades (which are actually quite pretty)

Other

• I would have no idea about the politics that go on in an ice rink. This would be a wonderful thing!
• I would never have the confidence to try something new no matter what people think of me for doing it.
• I wouldn't fall down so much.

All in all, I think skating's worth it!