We've all seen them, the barrier huggers who totter stiff kneed and anxious around the rink over and over again. And the next time you see them, they're still as nervous as ever. But you keep seeing them. As they grit their teeth and edge their way round. And one day they're taking tiny baby steps backwards.
Ever wondered what keeps them going?
Why would you keep going when every step is mental torture and your whole body is rigid with fear? What makes someone put themselves through that?
I have no idea. And I should, because I've been there.
A few months after I started skating I had a couple of bad, tailbone breaking falls. It absolutely wrecked my confidence. The next time I got on the ice, the slightest glide made me freeze up in terror. I was in tears with fear and frustration. For months I was terrified, I couldn't skate the width of the rink (when I had been doing quite happily previously). Oddly, backwards was slightly easier as it was less likely that I would catch the dreaded toepicks. And lemons worked too.
Endless patience from an amazing coach in group lessons helped. So did more endless patience from my first private lesson coach, together with a focus on my forward skating technique. Mostly it was sheer, teeth gritting determination. I would NOT let this beat me.
Now I'm doing jumps, spins, field moves and a program. I adore skating, and will try anything when asked. I'm no longer paralysed by fear. I love the feel of gliding around on the ice, of landing a jump, of spinning so fast it leaves me dizzy. My first coach uses me as a shining example for nervous skaters.
Is the fear still there? Well, something stops me throwing myself into my loop, or doing steps fast, or not dragging my toe rake on the entrance to a spin, and I guess it is fear. It's not overpowering and all consuming like it was once upon a time. I'm not entirely sure it'll ever completely go away. But it won't stop me achieving what I want to. Like I wouldn't quit when I was scared to lift my feet up off the ice, I won't quit now.
Well done! One of the choicest blessings of learning to skate as an adult is the regular opportunity of confronting fear in a public place. And yes, as I'm sure you know, especially as an adult, people do watch you... and watch you... and watch you. It can be exhilerating, intimidating, and humiliating all within the same twenty minutes. It can also be inspiring.
ReplyDeleteWhen you pursue your dreams with courage, you help others to lose the excuses that are stalling them from pursuing their own. You also build a foundation for yourself that makes quitting something out of fear progressively harder to do. After all, like you said, you were afraid before in the first steps and the second ones. You didn't quit then. What makes the fear in the most recent ones any different? This time, having a track record that shows that you can in fact, do difficult things.
Congratulations! And thank you for a great post.